January is finally here!

I can't believe that after it seemed so far away, January is here. Our little one is basically good to go whenever he/she decides to makes an appearance. Which I would VERY much welcome by now! I'm big, awkward, clumsy and on the whole feeling ready to be done with pregnancy and start motherhood!

Of course with that whole starting motherhood thing comes the actual delivery. I have to admit, knowing that with each passing day I'm a bit closer to actually having to deliver the baby, well, I'm a little scared. I plan on taking the epidural, but I still know that it will hurt. (DUH!) I just have to remind myself that this is what my body is made to do, and that women have been doing this forever.

I wish we'd been able to take child birth classes, but with Todd working and going to school full time, there was just never an option that would have worked for us. My sister reminded me that she never took any, and was just fine when it came to delivering her three. I think what gets me right now is the complete unknown. Sure I can read about it, watch cheesy 80's movies (like the one I got off of Netflix this week!) and hear what other people have gone through, but it's not the same. I hate being unprepared, and I think that's what I'm feeling now.

And it seems when I'm not worrying about the actual birth, I find time to worry about bringing this baby home! How will I deal with the lack of sleep? What if I can't stop the baby from crying, no matter what I do? What if, what if, what if? I like to think that I'm completely normal, and that most first time mom's have doubts and fears about their capabilities. I'm sure that I will be just fine, and that Todd and I will adjust to this new little person in our lives. But I have to admit, I am still somewhat scared.

I think that all this time to sit around the house and just think is too much! Hence my original thought - baby, come on down! I'm sure the doubts won't go away, but at least if you're here, I'll be too busy taking care of you to think so much!